I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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