Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize