bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Couch. On fire.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
