So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
