i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need moral support for this bender
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
