soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
