You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
