Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
