hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
