Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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