I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
