I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
