So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
