I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
