im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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