Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
