'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
