i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
