remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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