Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
