420 ftw
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
