I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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