It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize