butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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