Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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