he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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