Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize