Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
