hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
