so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
