i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
