I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
