Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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