wrigley field is MILF paradise
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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