At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize