When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
