i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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