Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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