Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
