ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
