You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
only you would photoshop your dick
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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