Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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