I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
