hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Everything about him screamed your future.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize