my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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