And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
