No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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