Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Even my vagina gasped.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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