he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
