all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
