i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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