Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
