you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
