So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize