No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
