from now on my penis is your penis
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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