if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize