what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
